Six years ago today…

29/11/2011 by Cathy.

Six years ago today… I stubbed out my last ever cigarette.  It was at 10:15 in the morning as I walked down to the tube station to go into Harley Street and see a hypnotherapist.

It was a strange feeling. I was really aware that I hadn’t noticed that cigarette quite as much as I should have. Should I have savoured it more, shouldn’t it have lasted longer? Why didn’t I notice smoking it – after all, I may never have the chance again!

Something in me was scared. I’m not sure whether I was more scared of succeeding than failing. Strange emotions indeed. I was torn. Part of me wanted to stop the disgusting habit and yet, there was still a part of me that hung onto it fondly – how would life be without my constant companion? This must sound strange to anyone who has never smoked, and probably quite familiar to everyone else.

Outside no 1, Harley Street I debated whether to have another one before going in and decided against it. I couldn’t go in stinking of cigarettes, could I?

I had been here before. Not Harley Street, but I had seen a couple of hypnotherapists in the past. Somehow I still held the belief that this was going to be the only way that I could stop for good and I had heard a few things about this ‘NLP’ stuff that this guy used too. Thankfully, my previous failed attempts had not put me off and I had been willing to put myself on a 3 month waiting list. Maybe this time… this could be it!

After winding my way through wood panelled corridors and peculiar staircases, I arrived in the room and sat down nervously behind the desk. This guy had done his homework. He had read the answers on the questionnaire that I had sent months ago, and we talked for a while about my ‘favourite’ cigarettes and various other things about my smoking. How refreshing to find someone who realised that I was an individual. Maybe this time really would be different.

I have to admit the rest of the session was a bit of a blur, from sitting in a lovely reclining chair to opening my eyes some time later, not really sure about everything that was said, but feeling that somehow, something had changed and with some excitement and a bit of trepidation I left.

I’ll never forget walking down Wigmore Street that day, as I looked around, strangely aware of everything around me, the busses, the traffic lights - somehow I just knew that the smoking was a thing of the past – I really was free of it. It was no longer part of me, just something I used to do.

That was six years ago and I can quite honestly say that from that point on I knew I would never have another one – and I haven’t. I haven’t even wanted one, not a tiny little bit. What an amazing feeling! … and what an amazing six years. Who would have known then that my curiosity about hypnosis and NLP would lead to a complete change of direction? How so much of my life has changed as a result and how great it’s been.

I look back at that day and smile… and smile some more.

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